Is It Love?
by hi.i.love.hugs
Summary: Ashley and Justin  Bieber  have a past.  Summary sucks cause I only have one chapter written right this second. But I promise it will be AH-MAZING. Tons of swagg.  : rated M for later chapters. I DO NOT OWN JUSTIN. -.-
1. Chapter 1

Alright. This story is... well... ultra personal. If you can't take the heat get out of the kitchen. That's all I gotta say. Yeah, it's about biebz. Don't jump me. -.-

-_flashback-_

"Why me?"

"Because..."

"Justin you promised."

"Fine...because I love you."

-_end-_

I'm Ashley Jamison and this is my journey of falling in love with Justin Bieber and being loved by him. We all have our ups and downs and I'm putting it all out there for you.

It all started a year ago. Justin and I were the best of friends. Inseparable. We were always there for one another...then he left. Just one day I woke up and he wasn't there for me anymore. We didn't talk for almost 6 months and then he randomly decides that it would be a good time to text me back.

I glanced down at my phone, expecting it to be Austin (who had potential to be my boyfriend) and I see "I miss you babe. Xoxo Justin". I dropped the phone on my bedroom floor in shock. I felt a pang of anger deep in my stomach. He's been gone so long and he decides right now is a good time? I picked it up and replied "what do you want from me?" and threw my phone on the bed. What could he possibly want from me? Did he break up with whatever skank he was with and decided he'd be with the girl who loved him for HIM not his fame? In fact, his fame is what I don't like. I wanted him all to myself and his fame took that from me. I didn't like his fame, but everyone else sure as hell did. What did I do to deserve to be hurt like this? Then my ringtone, black and yellow, cut in to my thoughts "whatcha mean?" of course its Justin.

"YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN JUSTIN! I WAS ALWAYS THERE FOR YOU AND YOU JUST LEFT ME! WHAT DID YOU WANT ME TO DO? SIT AROUND AND WAIT FOR YOU TO COME BACK? IT'S BEEN SIX MONTHS JUSTIN!" that's when I started crying. I ran to my closet and threw the random things that have accumulated in my closet for the little, white bear. I pulled him out from under a pile of old clothes and pulled him close and whispered "...I love you" Mr. fluffy is what Justin gave to me for my 16th birthday...little did I know 7 months later would my would come crashing down around me because of the boy I'm in love with. Yes, I love him. He drives me insane but I love him... I checked my phone,

"Ash... I didn't mean it that way. I know I should have acted better. But I thought you'd always be waiting for me..."

I just stared at my phone. What. The. eff. "excuse me?"

"I mean... can I call you?"

"No."

Despite my answer my phone vibrated, he was calling me I answered, "You have 2 minutes until I hang up. Start."

"I...okay...I'm so sorry. I want you to forgive me. But I know you and you won't do that easily. I'm prepared to work my ass off for you to forgive me...I know I don't deserve it, but I want to go back to how we used to be..." I just stayed silent. I missed his voice so much. I loved his voice. Then he broke through my thoughts "ash? Shit, she hung u-"

"No Justin, I'm here..."

"Why won't you talk to me?"

I thought about it for a second. How could I tell him everything? I was so happy and sad and upset all at once. I didn't know how to begin. "I...you just left me Justin... no one else get me the way you do... and you just left."

"Ashley I swear I will make everything better for you."

"Fine. I have to go. I have a date."

"Oh."

I could hear the hurt in his voice and I almost regretted letting it slip.

"I'll talk to you later Justin?"

"Yeah, maybe." I whispered goodbye but he had already hung up on me. I sighed as I glanced at my phone. Austin would be here in 10 minutes and I was nowhere near ready. I quickly threw on ripped denim shorts and a baby blue Hollister tee with white converse and some eyeliner and threw my long blonde hair in a ponytail and ran downstairs.

Austin looked me up and down "well, hello beautiful." I playfully punched his arm and hugged him, and then he led me outside with our fingers intertwined. I smiled and looked up at him and asked where we were going. He pulled me close with his arm slung around my shoulders and said "the park." the words hit me like bricks. The only park within reasonable walking distance was the park LITERALLY beside Justin's house...he always went there when he had to think. "I hope nothing's wrong and he doesn't need to clear his mind today..." I thought to myself as we walked through the entrance.


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER TWO**

So far, so good. No sight of Justin and things look good for Austin and I as he leads me towards the swings. My favorite, he remembered. I leaned against him more and kept walking as he wound his arm around my waist. We passed by the swirly yellow slide when I heard someone cough. I looked at Austin, who was looking at me. Neither of us coughed. I slowly backed up and looked inside the slide. Of course. No other than Justin was sitting inside it. I smiled, shook my head, put my hands on my hips and asked him what he was doing. It was freezing and he was outside in only a hoodie and basketball shorts. He quickly looked me up and down then looked away. "He's the reason you couldn't talk to me. Isn't he?" All I could do was look at him. He crawled out of the slide and stood about 3 inches from my face. "Ashley. Tell me now. You tell me everything and I swear to you, anytime you want to know something I won't hesitate to tell you." I looked at Austin. I could tell he was pissed. He stood with his arms crossed staring holes in to me. I shrugged and looked deep in Justin's eyes. 'God he has the most beautiful eyes.' I thought.

"HELLO? Earth to Ashley! Wanna give us both some answers?" Justin asked while waving his hand in front of my face.

"Oh, um..yeah.." I looked at the ground. My heart was screaming to grab Justin and just make out with him right there. But my brain…my brain told me that Justin hurt my heart so badly and Austin was there to pick up the pieces. Austin was the answer. I opened my mouth to tell him I wanted to be with Austin when he ran his fingers through my hair and kissed me. When Justin finally let me breathe, Austin was gone. I guess he understood. Justin sat down on the slide and pulled me in to his lap so I was facing him. "I missed you." He whispered in my ear while softly leaving kisses along my neck. I laughed and kissed his neck and wound my fingers in his hair which he understood as 'I missed you too'. I felt him slide his hands up my back under my shirt. I shivered and realized what I was doing. I stood up and stepped backwards. "Justin…no…" He just looked at me confused. I went back and held his hand, "Look, I just…don't know where I stand with Austin. Give me time okay? Don't give up on me." He smiled and nodded while tracing small circles in my hand. He remembers…he used to do that a long time ago. I loved it. He pulled me closer to him and kissed me. "You need to get home." He said, breaking our kiss." I nodded in agreement. He smiled, "or…you could spend the night with me." I rolled my eyes, "You and I both know my mom would never go for that." He kissed my forehead. "True…but can I walk you home so I know you're safe?" as he pulled me towards the street.

"You ask that like I had a choice." He shrugged and slid his fingers between mine. "I have a question." I said while I looked at the ground. He froze and turned towards me, grabbing my other hand.

"Go for it Ash." He said with a huge smile on his face.

I bit my lip. "You can have ANY girl you laid eyes on. All you had to do is look at her."

He looked deep in my eyes and smiled, "That's a statement, not a question."

I squinted. "I was getting there." He nodded and I went on. "Why me?"

He shifted his weight and started walking again "Because."

I didn't move and pulled him back to me. "Justin you promised."

He paused and put his hands on my hips. "Because…I love you." He sighed.

I stared in his eyes trying to tell if he was serious or not. I whispered his name and put my hand on his face. He kissed me lightly "Ash, it's the truth."

**-Review for the next chapters! (:**


	3. Chapter 3

**Okay, I got one review so I'm doing a new chapter. Reviews are cool and keep me writing. (:**

**And I may or may not be able to get a certain someone to see this. I have connections. (;**

**CHAPTER 3**

I smiled while biting my lip. He loves me. He has no idea how long I've waited for him to say that to me. I slowly traced my eyes up his body stopping at his face. I stopped smiling. He had a blank, but angry and confused look on his face. He bit his lip, flipped his hair and started pulling me towards my house. I stood there until his pulling dragged me along behind him. Something was wrong. What did I say? Or do? Why is he so upset? My mind was racing, I didn't even notice when he stopped at my house until he was waving his hand in front of my face while saying my name over and over, for the second time today. I shook my head and tucked a loose piece of hair behind my hair. "Oh, I'm sorry. I just…"

He just looked at me. "Its cool, you don't have to explain anything to me." I nodded, confused. He sighed "Ashley, this is hard for me. I forgot how beautiful you are." I looked at him; my heartbeat sped up as he put his hand on my face. "I'm so sorry Ashley. I just…have something I have to work out. You'll wait for me right?" I couldn't breathe. I was right. He has a girl. I'm just a side project. I couldn't believe him. I couldn't believe myself for believing him and falling in to his trap. I just shook my head and stared at the floor. I bit my lip so I wouldn't cry in front of him and went inside without looking at him, without saying a single word to him. What could I say? I've waited long enough. I can't wait forever…can I? I leaned against the door. I knew he was still outside. Then I heard "Ashy…I know I've been…nothing but a douche to you. I promise I will make it up to you! Please! Just give me a chance! Its not what you think!" At some point I had started crying. Probably at Ashy, he used to call me that before we had this drama. I opened the door amazingly fast "THEN WHAT THE HELL IS IT JUSTIN? WHAT'S YOUR EXCUSE THIS TIME!" He stepped forwards and reached for my hand. "Don't touch me." I snapped at I pulled my hand away and stepped backwards. His glance fell to the floor. "You hate me don't you?" As much as I wanted to, I could NEVER hate Justin. I just shook my head and tried to wipe the tears away. He looked at me, "Ashy…I love **you**. You're an amazing, funny, beautiful girl." I started crying harder. I didn't want to hear those words from him under these circumstances. Actually, any time when I wasn't crying would be wonderful. "Can I tell you something?" He asked as he moved closer to me. "I guess." I mumbled as I stared at the floor. "I watched you with all those guys. I saw all the pain you went through. I always wanted to be the guy that could change that for you. You know, make you happier than you've ever been? And this is so cheesy, but 'That Should Be Me' is about you…" he trailed off in to mumbling that I couldn't comprehend. I had to be strong. I can't be hurt by him more than I already have. "I have to go." I whispered as I wiped a tear off my face and shut the door quietly. I turned around to see my mom standing on the stairs blocking my escape to my room.

"Wanna talk about it?" She asked. She loves Justin. She's determined we'll get married and live happily ever after. I shook my head and ran to her and let her hug me as I began crying my heart out on her shoulder. After a while she pulled my face up, "Ashley, tell me. Do you love him?" I nodded. "Well, I see the way he looks at you. When he's with you, when he's not, when you walk out of a room, and how his eyes light up when you walk in to the room. I'm not a believer of teenage love; you know that, but you two, that's love. Everyone can see the love when you look at each other and its love. You both are mature beyond your ages. It will all work out good for the both of you. I want to see you both happy, and you're both only truly happy when you're together."

I smiled and rubbed my eyes "Thanks mom." I said as I ran up to my room. I changed and plugged my phone in to the charger. It died a long time ago I guessed. When it finally turned back on I was half asleep. I heard two beeps, meaning I had messages. One missed call from Austin along with a voicemail, one text from him, and one from Justin. I called my voicemail, "When you decide what the fuck you want from me, I'll be here waiting. Just like last time when he broke your heart. Remember that." I deleted the message and the missed call and looked at the message from him, "I came off mean in my voicemail. Baby, I'm sorry. I was just upset. He just came bursting back in your life. He's going to hurt you again. Whatever happens I'm here for you." I smiled and replied "Thanks. I'll call you in the morning. Goodnight." Now on to the text I had been regretting. "I was wrong. Can we just be friends?" _**Friends? **_Who the hell is JUST FRIENDS with someone they're madly in love with? I started crying again. This is the worst day ever. I don't think I have **EVER **cried more in my entire life than I have today. I took a deep breath and wiped away the tears. _Friends_...can I be friends, and strictly just friends with him?


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER 4**

Why does 'friends' hurt SO damn bad?

Whatever, I'm over it. Friends, here we come.

*******TWO MONTHS LATER*******

I bounced downstairs. Justin was here! We've become best friends and kind of ignore what we had, but kind of don't. We flirt constantly despite the fact he has a girlfriend. He scares away all the guys I like and he gets all huffy when I talk about guys, or if I say something about getting physical with a guy who isn't him. He hints around about how we will be together. Just I think I'm not important enough, and I've accepted that. He told me that after he breaks up with his girl, he's coming back to me. But why would I want to be what he chooses as second choice?

I fell in to the couch next to him. "Well, good morning sunshine." He said as he lightly pushed me. I rolled my eyes, "Some people have lives and talk to their friends."

"And others show up at their friends house at 10 in the morning waiting for her to wake up and make him lunch."

I shook my head, "What are we watching?"

"You."

"And by that you mean…?"

"I mean nothing."

"Got that right." I mumbled as I pulled my legs up to sit crisscross applesauce.

"What did you say?" He asked, leaning closer.

I smiled and leaned towards him and smiled "I said you-got-that-right. Whatcha gonna do about it?" Maybe that was a mistake because he smiled and I knew I was in for it. Before I knew it I was pressed against the couch with Justin on top of me. I hoped no one was home just in case anyone thought this was something it wasn't. Justin was laughing so hard, which made me laugh. Eventually he stopped and looked at me and bit his lip. I knew what that meant. He only bites his lip when he sees something he really likes and he wants it. Just I didn't know what he wanted from me. "Justin?" I whispered. He leapt backwards off of me. "Whoa, wow. Okay, that was completely awkward. Normally that only happens when I think really hard."

I laughed, "That sounds so naughty."

He rolled his eyes "You know how I am."

I nodded. I did know. I knew very well what he was talking about. He told me in one of our late night conversations that I doubt he remembers he told me what he was thinking about.

I pretended I didn't know what he was talking about. Somehow ex-boyfriends got brought up. He wanted to see how many he hated to make himself feel better so I was in charge of naming off people.

"Austin." "You're sure he likes girls?"

"Jake." "What were you thinking?"

"Daniel." "I hate that douche bag." I rolled my eyes. Daniel was the sweetest guy ever.

"Ryan." "Well, I love that he's my best friend, hate that he liked you." "Yeah, whatever!"

"Umm…I think tha—NO, one last guy. Justin." "Oh…he's so good looking but he hurt you, so I don't think I can ever forgive him for that." I paused, he did know I was talking about him right? Apparently so because he read my mind, "Yes, I know you're talking about me- Justin. And what I said is true. That's what I think and I don't want to revisit it because I'm not hurting you anymore." What he didn't know is that being 'just friends' with him kills me. I nodded, "Right…" He turned to me. My heart and mind were racing. He was staring in my eyes. His eyes, they're so beautiful. I couldn't focus. All I knew is that everything I wanted him to do, he was doing it. And I couldn't breathe. I tried to push him away but really I was pulling him closer. He was such a good kisser. He has talent. I knew I shouldn't be thinking that. He has a girlfriend. And I…I have…I have nothing, but that wasn't the point! Justin was kissing me, and I was kissing Justin. This was going somewhere, I didn't know where, and I didn't care.

**REVIEW! Yes, it's a cliffhanger. (: my favorite! The next chapter will blow. Your. Mind!  
Lol, so I need like 2 or more review so you can read it. :D**


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER 5**

**(Okay, this is the M rated chapter so, if you don't like Bieber doing stuff with girls who aren't you, 1- ew. 2- don't be dramatic. 3- this isn't for you. 4- how old are you? And, I know I said I wanted reviews, but I got excited when I wrote it. But seriously, to have the next part I NEEEEEED reviews. Please and thank you! (:**

Okay, so maybe we were going too far. But when you love someone…things go too far. And you either regret it or you accept it. I was accepting it and so was he. The feeling in my stomach told me it was right. And the way he said my name while he was moaning made me never want to stop. I never wanted him to stop running his hands down my sides, kissing me, or rethink any plans he had. He was ready and so was I.

We were on the couch and he was back on top of me with his lips attached to mine, kissing me deeply and passionately. I didn't know he could be like this. He'd been holding back. His hands felt like they were all over me. In my hair, under my shirt rubbing my back, tracing lines on my stomach, everywhere. Eventually he picked me up and carried me to my room while still kissing me. He laid me on my bed and kissed my lips once and told me to wait. I was getting sick of hearing that word from him, but in the moment I didn't care, partially because he was shirtless and I liked looking at him shirtless. He opened a drawer in my dresser and pulled out a condom. I sat up as he smiled at me. "How long has that been there?" He blushed, "I had it in my wallet since the day before I left. Then this morning I came in here and saw you sleeping and saw how beautiful you are and I love you and so I put it in there hoping that maybe something could happen, but if you don't want it to I'll jus-" I cut him off by smiling and motioning with one finger for him to come to me. His eyes got wide and he almost ran to me. I kissed him and whispered that I loved him too. He kept kissing me, only breaking to pull my shirt off. He breathed in and looked me up and down and kissed my jaw "You", then to my neck, "are so", to my shoulder "unbelievably", my chest "beautiful." I reached for the top of his jeans; unbuttoning them and slowly unzipping his zipper, making him wait. He moaned against my neck, which drove me crazy. I wanted him so bad. His warm hands slid down my stomach to the top of my jeans, which he practically ripped off. I tucked my fingers under the waistband of his boxers, which teased him to a point where he couldn't stand the teasing anymore and he looked in my eyes. "Are you sure?" I nodded. "I don't want to hurt you." I just looked at him and bit my lip. He shivered, goosebumps rising all over his body, "Alright." He said, smiling. I pulled his boxers off slowly trying to get a reaction from him. He popped my bra off faster than I could have. He kissed me as he ripped my panties off and kissed his way down my jaw and neck as he slowly pushed inside me. He went deeper as I squirmed as he broke the barrier, and he distracted me by lightly sucking and licking my neck. He understood it was going to hurt; I nodded when the pain subsided and he pushed as deep as he could inside me, and then back out as fast as he could. I breathed in and I think I forgot _how _to breathe. He kept going in slowly and out fast, I was moaning louder and louder as he was kissing all over my body, whispering how much he loved me. I wrapped my legs around his waist and he went as deep as he could as I moaned his name, practically screaming. He moaned against my chest as we both climaxed. My heart was beating faster than ever. I was breathing heavy, and as was Justin. He was lying beside me and I rolled and laid my head on his chest. His heart was beating as fast as mine, if not faster. I smiled as we both drifted in to sleep with me in his arms, listening to his heartbeat slow.

When I woke up, Justin was already awake. He hadn't moved me or tried to wake me up. It was dark outside. The clock on my dresser read 4:30 am. I had slept 10 hours. I looked at Justin whose face was lightened by the moonlight seeping through my window. His expression wasn't happy. I twisted on to my stomach and rested my hand on his chest, and my chin on my hand. "What's wrong Justin?" I asked twirling his hair. He didn't look at me. I stopped and sat up, wrapping a sheet around me. "Justin?" He ran his fingers through his hair and turned his head towards me. "Ashley, I'm so sorry, I didn't realize…" I was confused. What was he talking about? My expression must have said it all. He reached under the pillow...…..

**(: reviews! I love you allll. **


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER 6**

**I love writing these. (: reminds me of good times, and what could have been. Ah, well. Enjoy. (: **

He slid his hand under his pillow. He looked like he was going to cry. I sat totally still; I didn't dare make a sound. I was afraid of what he had. I knew he wouldn't hurt me, but what if- I stopped rambling in my head when his hand started coming out of the pillow again. What was taking him so long? Not like whatever was in his hand was going to end my life as I knew it…right? His big, beautiful brown eyes met mine as he opened his hand. It was the condom. We just stared at each other. When I said whatever was in his hand couldn't ruin my life, I was wrong. So wrong…more wrong than I had ever been in my ENTIRE life! Tears rolled silently down both of our faces as we both understood what this meant.

He pulled me in to a hug as I sobbed against his shoulder. I should be happy. If we weren't SIXTEEN! We shouldn't have done what we did! That was a HUGE mistake! He rubbed small circles in my back, calming me down. I sighed and he brushed the tears off of my face. I forced a small smile and he rubbed his thumb on my face. "Ash, we're not even sure its worst case scenario yet. We have to wait and see." I nodded in agreement, "But what about your girlfriend?" "I texted her when I saw you walk down the stairs this morning. It's over. And you're beautiful. What about Austin?" he asked with his eyes squinted at mention of Austin's name. I shrugged "It's over I guess. I told him I would call him the day after I saw him in the park and I never did." He pulled me closer. "Good, I could tell he wasn't in to girls. Besides, he can't have my girl." I smiled a little. I was happy, considering the circumstances. I just had to wait this one out. I mean…it doesn't always end badly…right? Justin pulled me against him, "Baby, you need rest." I agreed, I was so tired and who knew how restless I would be for a while. I pushed everything out of my mind and just lay with Justin, content exactly how I was.

*****ONE MONTH LATER*****

I sighed as I knocked on Justin's bedroom door. I was so nervous, but he had to be told. We had to figure out what to do. Right now he was at the height of his career and I didn't want to ruin anything for him. He opened the door. I smiled, he had just woken up. He was so cute. Even with bedhead, sweatpants, and shirtless he was amazing. His eyes were barely open as he grabbed my hand and pulled me in to his dark room and down in to his bed. I didn't resist him. I curled against him and played with his hair. "Justin…we need to talk." He made some incoherent sound and turned his face towards me and mumbled something sounding close to what. I didn't want to tell him. I had to…"I'm….."

He pushed up and pulled me closer. He could sense something was wrong. "You're what?"

I stared deep in to his sleepy brown eyes. "I could be…"

**I love cliffhangers. (:**


End file.
